And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
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My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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