shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
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