This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.