We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?