He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
