yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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