sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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