note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
