am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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