Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
