Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize