Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
