my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The beer is more important than you right now.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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