There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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