Texts From Last Night

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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.

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  (740): Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell. http://tfl.nu/hc6j
  Replies (17) Good night (2787) Bad night (1454)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?

  (1-301): View more from Maryland

  hey.....beach week happens

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  (301): About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ? (1-301): hey.....beach week happens http://tfl.nu/0seh
  Replies (18) Good night (4671) Bad night (1386)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.

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  (937): i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester. http://tfl.nu/q7xe
  Replies (31) Good night (5961) Bad night (2237)
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  (408): View more from California

  He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.

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  (408): He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it. http://tfl.nu/0bv4
  Replies (54) Good night (7181) Bad night (1638)
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  (530): View more from California

  regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle

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  (530): regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle http://tfl.nu/1njn
  Replies (10) Good night (3571) Bad night (1933)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man

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  (512): When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man http://tfl.nu/fxmb
  Replies (32) Good night (7573) Bad night (1128)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday

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  (217): Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday http://tfl.nu/gng4
  Replies (5) Good night (2037) Bad night (889)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets

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  (785): In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets http://tfl.nu/2py4
  Replies (7) Good night (1312) Bad night (2227)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.

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  (603): I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob. http://tfl.nu/3ajr
  Replies (5) Good night (1791) Bad night (815)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.

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  (651): Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize. http://tfl.nu/ao6w
  Replies (5) Good night (2145) Bad night (719)
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  (631): View more from New York

  speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"

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  (631): speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist" http://tfl.nu/hn7i
  Replies (4) Good night (1371) Bad night (597)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball

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  (724): Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball http://tfl.nu/n4gl
  Replies (5) Good night (1000) Bad night (725)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?

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  (813): People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits? http://tfl.nu/du6g
  Replies (6) Good night (3257) Bad night (783)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."

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  (337): Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her." http://tfl.nu/whil
  Replies (10) Good night (1800) Bad night (510)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.

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  (519): I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list. http://tfl.nu/0spo
  Replies (3) Good night (637) Bad night (188)

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