honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
oh yeah. preciate
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...