I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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