She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm