Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
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