Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???