Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
