: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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