all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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