It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
