I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
