just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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