How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
