it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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