I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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