And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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