If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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