You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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