Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
