so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
