I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
