Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
