I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
