You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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