Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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