You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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