it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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