I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize