I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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