Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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