i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
