I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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