so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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