Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Randomize
