Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
