I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize