btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
