Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
