Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
