I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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