if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize