I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize