do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
