He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
