remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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