So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
