omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
