He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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