I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize