Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
