The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
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I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
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The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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