We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
