I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
